Neil Armstrong — test pilot, astronaut, first man on the moon, Presidential Medal of Freedom winner, golfer — has died.

Or at least that’s what the US Government wants you to believe.

In fact, NASA has offered the American people no actual proof that the 82 year old Armstrong has passed away. Not a single photo of the body has been released, and no eye witnesses have come forward, nor medical records released.

Clearly there’s something we’re not being told.

Yes, Armstrong underwent heart bypass surgery in recent weeks, but according to the New York Times “His recovery had been going well… and his death came as a surprise to many close to him.”

Of course it did.

The Times goes on to report the “outpouring of well wishes and fond memorials on Web sites” but neglects to point out that those “Web sites” are all hosted on the “Internet”, a digital network created by the US government. And, guess what? Painstaking data analysis shows that the Times’ own “Web site” is hosted on that same network.

Surprise, surprise!

Consider the following other discrepancies in the reporting of Armstrong’s death…

  • In 1969 Armstrong received the Presidential Medal of Freedom from President Richard Nixon. 25 years later, Nixon was dead. Coincidence? A total non-sequitur? If so, no-one is talking.
  • We’re told that flags are flying at “half mast” at NASA to mark Armstrong’s death. And yet, a simple Google Image search shows that flags normally fly at full mast. The flags at NASA have almost certainly been doctored. Why? And by whom?
  • Recent photos of Armstrong’s friends and family appear to show them with dark shadows under their eyes, despite standing in full sunlight. None of the experts we’ve consulted on Yahoo Answers were able to account for this anomaly. Again, signs point to Photoshop.
  • Multiple outlets have noted that in 1969 Nixon speechwriter Bill Safire wrote a speech informing the American people of Armstrong’s death, to be used in the event that Apollo XI was stranded in space. Despite the existence of that document, Armstrong remained very much alive. And yet, we’re supposed to take today’s announcement at face value?
  • A simple Google search for “Armstrong Doping” returns an astonishing 4,590,000 results. Could Armstrong be merely using strong drugs to simulate having died?

Most damning of all, that same Google search returns the following paragraph: “in stripping Armstrong of all of his titles, the USADA said he used EPO, blood transfusions, testosterone, cortisone and HGH”.

Could the prospect of the USADA stripping Armstrong of the title of “first man on the moon” really have prompted him to fake his own death? Only one man can answer those questions. And, conveniently enough, he’s not returning our calls.