Let me tell you how close I came to once seeing a Star Trek film.

The year was 1992, and a group of friends and I decided on a balmy Saturday afternoon that we’d go and see The Undiscovered Country at the Odeon cinema in Sidcup, Kent. There were maybe ten of us in all – twelve years old – each of us excited to be away from the shackles of the ‘rents, and high on McDonald’s milkshakes.

So of course, before the BBFC certificate had even appeared, we decided to start an epic popcorn fight with some older kids in the front row. We were sitting at the back. I’m not sure what the record for getting thrown out of a cinema is, but I’m pretty sure we came close to beating it that Saturday afternoon.

Since then I’ve always managed to avoid Start Trek – I’ve never watched an episode all the way through and I’ve certainly never been bold enough to go back to the cinema to see one of the ten – ten! – film adaptations. Until today.

Today, for reasons that aren’t entirely clear to me, I’ve accepted an invitation from Michael Arrington to his screening of the latest – and for Leonard Nimoy, let’s be frank, last – outing of the USS Enterprise. Part of the reason, I think, is morbid curiosity. What happens when you take the commenters of Techcrunch, extract the Star Trek nerds, and invite 600 of them to sit in a room and watch a movie?

How will they behave? Will they act like they do on Techcrunch? And if so, how long will it be until someone stands up and demands to know “What exactly does this have to do with Techcrunch?” or shouts out something totally unrelated to the movie just so they have an excuse to plug their Indian outsourcing startup? And God help any woman who walks on the screen.

In fact, come to think of it, I guess I accepted the invitation because if anyone’s going to beat my record, I want to be there to witness it.

Full report to follow in next week’s column.