The bed in my upgraded hotel room is enormous, there’s free WiFi, an enormous minibar, I don’t have an ounce of jetlag and there are four naked Swedish girls in my bathtub. Oh, and did I mention it’s all costing me less than £60 a night?

Only one of the above statements isn’t true. But, fuck it, who needs WiFi when you have the Swedish girls? I’m thinking of making them stand really far away so I can pretend they’re thumbnails. Is that weird?

So – yes – hello from San Francisco. I flew in yesterday – New Year’s Day – on an early morning flight from Heathrow. Given that I’d spent the previous night welcoming the arrival of 2009 with the usual gang of drunks, this was, of course, total fucking idiocy.

Who in their right mind flies long haul on a New Year’s hangover? Two hours sleep, boarding while still drunk, cleaning my teeth with my finger on the Heathrow Express. There was a moment, about ten minutes after takeoff when I found myself staring into the mirror of the tiny cattle-class bathroom, contemplating the eleven hours of wedged-in airlessness that was to follow and wondering whether, actually, I’d be better off flushing myself out into the troposphere.

Instead, I decided to curl up and sleep, with BA’s not-very-excellent selection of inflight music to block out the fat yammering fucks sitting next to me and the screaming devil child behind. The irony is that without the hangover, I probably would have been able to sleep for six hours, waking just in time to mainline an episode of Fawlty Towers before final descent. Shortest, most invigorating, flight ever.

By the time I’d made it through security and hopped into a cab, I was almost feeling human again, albeit a human who didn’t know what day it was (how could it still only be 1pm on New Year’s Day?). And by 4pm, checking in to the Vertigo (nee York) and finding that the rennovation of the 6th floor is finished and I’ve been upgraded, I was basically back to normal.

Actually, I’m going to write a whole post about Hotel Vertigo at some point. It proves every point I want to make about the whole technomad thing. But I think it might be a video rather than a text post. Watch this space.

So, anyway, where was I? Oh, yes, San Francisco. I’m here for Macworld – and possibly as a jumping off point for CES or whatever else is going on. Also, to catch up with various San Franciscan chums; starting of course with Sarah 2.0 who insisted on meeting me for my first drink of the trip. Seriously, it’s any excuse for that girl to hit the Martinis. I have a feeling it’s going to be an interesting visit, but only time, the blog and the column will tell.

Speaking of which, my New Year’s Eve column is online.

More soon, first I have to go and finish buying a birthday present…

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