The Pod Hotel, New York, NY

Welcome to New York, they say. And welcome to the land of the free. Tick this box if you are a Nazi war criminal or have recently been near a farm, or around livestock. Cell phones must not be used in the immigration hall on pain of being shot. Tired and huddled masses, please make yourself known to the robots.

But the main thing is, I’m here. In New York, New York for the start of what promises to be a Very Exciting Adventure. The last thing I did before going through to departures was to pop the last remaining key to my flat in the post to my (former) landlady – this after checking in the suitcase that contains what little of my life I haven’t sold or given away. My books and DVDs are in storage, my laptop is charged – and God knows what happens next.

Vegas, certainly, at the weekend. Then a drive through the desert to LA in time for the Oscars, then San Francisco for a while before flying to Austin for South by South West and my first assignment of the trip. But beyond that… who can say? Watch this space.

I flew in with Zoe – The Girl With A One Track Mind. There’s a weird twinge that minor celebrities have when they find they’re on the same plane as Bono or Tony Blair. That realisation that when the plane smashes into a field just outside Pennsylvania that they won’t even make the list of ‘also killed’ in the press, fan sites aside. Is it the same for bloggers and journalists? As we sat eating our Starbucks paninis; waiting to board; I found myself thinking that – if all went south – Zoe would be the big sad news, blogosphere-wise, and I’d just be another name on the telephone recording for the victims’ families. So – for that reason – Narcissistic Personality Disorder sufferer that I am – I’m glad we made it in one piece. There wasn’t even any turbulence to speak of.

I’m here – in America, that is, not just in New York – mainly to write. The most exciting news is that I’m writing another book. I’m not quite ready to announce details yet – give me a few weeks – but I’m very, very excited about it. I’m also doing some Proper Journalism including a piece for a broadsheet I’ve never written for but have always wanted to. That will be very interesting. I’m hoping to break the back of this screenplay too – but we’ll see. In between that, I’m just travelling. Seeing places, meeting people, writing shit down. Enjoying life like I haven’t for a long time, and getting paid several times over to do it.

But before any of that, it’s 11pm here but 4am in my head and I need to sleep. Lots to do during the day and a party tomorrow night before my flight to Nevada. Give me 48 hours to adjust to my new life as The Littlest Hobo and proper travel blogging will commence with vigour.

Ooh, the Daily Show’s starting!

God bless America.