The nights have drawn in, it’s freezing cold outside and the world continues to mission-creep towards Holy war.

Would it kill XFM to play some upbeat music?

Seriously, if I hear Coldplay one more time – or that James Blunt dirge – I’m going to drop the office radio in a bath. While Blunt is in it.

“Yoour’e byoootifu….” Splash. TZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Hiss.

So, yes, long time no blog. Things have been mental-busy here at TFPHQ. For one thing, we’ve just signed a great new author. I can’t talk about it until everything’s completely watertight, legal-wise, which is incredibly annoying because the book is going to be absolutely bloody incredible. Fine writing on a gripping subject. Ooh yes, it’s going to be goooood. More soon. Watch this space.

We’re also right in the midst of a particularly fascinating process involving some large sums of money and contracts the size of Ghana. Again, I probably shouldn’t say much. Law again, y’know. But suffices to say the process is a pure and simple head-fuck.

You know those big meetings you see in Wall Street films, with lawyers and accountants and advisors and investors and directors all sitting round a table, calculators and gold pens in hand, wrestling over spreadsheets and tiny percentages and professional fees that could put a Beckham child through college? And people keep excusing themselves to make Very Important phone calls? And assistants in smart uniforms keep bringing coffee ensuring that everyone involved is bouncing off the ceiling? And there’s a weird politic about who sits at the head of the table.

Turns out those meetings exist. And they’re everything you’d expect them to be. And so much longer.

In the midst of all this, I continue to media whore myself like a media whore. On Wednesday evening I’m taking part in a debate on Resonance FM with ‘youth representatives’ of the major political parties. I’m to be the ‘non-partisan’ participant. Ha!

Immediately after that I’ve been invited to a Heroes and Villains party in aid of some worthy cause or other. It’s fancy dress but I’m not sure I’m going to have time to change into anything but the most basic of costume. Unless I do the debate in my villainous fancy dress. Perhaps as a non-partisan Hitler. I do hope there’s a webcam.

What else? Ah yes. Heather has been busy, decorating the office in appropriate festive style. Honestly, it’s lucky I like tinsel and fairy lights otherwise I’d be working from home until January. I challenge anyone to set foot in here without bursting into Christmas song. Not ‘holiday song’, you’ll notice. Christmas. Or at a push Hanukkah. Which is probably more appropriate given that our office is currently a festival of lights.

And speaking of Christmas cheer – I’d like to know whose bright idea it was to arrange our Christmas drinks party for the evening after the afternoon of our TFP office Christmas lunch. And who decided that we’d have cocktails before lunch? Are any of the five of us going to be still standing when the evening guests arrive? But then again will we notice if we’re not?

Now XFM are playing something about a man who remembers a JCB.

So this is Christmas.

And what have we done.

Another year over.

And it’s my birthday on Wednesday.

How depressing.